"Sometimes Heaven is just a new pair of glasses"

“As Father Ed Dowling said, sometimes heaven is just a new pair of glasses. When we put them on, we see the awful person, sometimes even ourselves, a bit more gently, and we are blessed in return. It seems, on the face of things, like a decent deal.”

―Anne Lamott,Hallelujah Anyway: Rediscovering Mercy

So simple, yet so profound. I heard this today from Anne Lamott on The Soul Boom Podcast.

In 2020, I built the dream to move out West, build deep relationships and community, and open a space to provide healing. I’d drift off into the daydream often, and as pieces fell into place, I’d find peace in dreaming about what's still missing. I felt deep love and appreciation thinking of having all this one day, assuming that living this dream out would be the answer to my feeling of lack. When White Light opened in July, it was the final piece to the puzzle. Although this was so exciting, and I felt deeply grateful, that feeling faded quickly. I was confused. I had finally sculpted my dream reality, but I didn’t feel like I had pictured I would. I still wanted more, and I had lost my dream to escape to.

I had the choice to: 1. Create a new dream to escape to when seeking sensations of gratitude, or 2. Humble myself and sink deeper into the present to find appreciation and gratitude here. I spent every spare moment for weeks reciting all that I have to be grateful for here and now. I was truly humbled when I recognized the ways I wasn’t living the truth I’ve preached - that you can decide your state of being by controlling your outlook, not your circumstances (generally). I was humbled by the struggle to feel grateful for the things I built - especially when I used to be moved to tears just dreaming about it.

I had overlooked an important piece of the puzzle: creating the version of myself that I also dreamt about in this reality. It took time, but I truly feel that I am living Heaven on Earth. Nothing has changed from then to now; it all came from how I chose to see. And on the days I struggle mentally, I know that I can just put on a new pair of glasses.